


In which eleven people have a crush on Sora which is more than his one (1) brain cell can handle

by KeybladeCryptography



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Comedy, F/M, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, This Is My Magnum Opus tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24291154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeybladeCryptography/pseuds/KeybladeCryptography
Summary: The best time to ask about your love life is when you're dying (kinda).
Relationships: Ephemer/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Hayner/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Pence/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku Replica/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 117





	In which eleven people have a crush on Sora which is more than his one (1) brain cell can handle

**Author's Note:**

> This is really dumb and so it's been sitting in my Google docs since uhhh January. Before re:mind. So, yeah, at first I wasn't going to post it and then I looked at it and went "you know what? I'm hilarious." So here we are. Hope you enjoy.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Sora feels kind of dumb now. This may have something to do with the fact that well . . . let’s just say he’s never been one to devote much time to thinking. In his defense, there isn’t a lot of time for that when everything is trying to kill you. Which has kind of been happening a lot for the past two years. And it’s really starting to take a toll on him. 

Kairi knows it too. Which is probably why she invites him to sit on the paopu tree and watch the sun set with her. Alone. Which is kind of weird because you know, Riku’s their best friend too, right? And then she offers him a paopu fruit which, okay sure, a nice last meal as his grip on this world weakens. And then there’s the love confession which he wasn’t actually prepared for at all.

Like, sure he had a painfully obvious crush on Kairi as a kid. Donald and Goofy teased him about it all the time. Riku coped by drinking copious amounts of darkness juice. But then by the time Xehanort was back and kicking as an entire human existence again, Sora had more pressing problems. And sure, maybe in hindsight, he should’ve seen this coming, but again. More pressing problems.

(He wonders if explaining these “more pressing problems” will work on his teachers when he gets back.)

If he gets back.

He had better get back or Kairi’s going to bring him back herself just to kill him. Riku will probably join in. Scratch that, he’ll definitely join in.

It’s not a bad way to go, but he kind of promised his mom he’d explain. Eventually.

Okay, whatever. Sora’s starting to glow now, which, contrary to all the comics he read as a kid, is usually not a good sign. Glowing means fading. Which, you know, fine, he gets it, abusing the Power of Waking was a Bad Idea and he messed with the Balance of Life and Death or something important like that so now he has to go have a time out in some other dimension like he’s six and not almost-sixteen. But before that, there is a very important matter to sort out.

He kisses Kairi on the cheek before turning and sliding off the tree. He steps across the bridge, clapping his hands and whistling. “Alright, guys, listen up!”

The crowd falls silent. Except for Isa’s muffled “ow” as a frisbee hits him in the head. Man, maybe Sora should become famous or something if people are this willing to pay attention to him. He can drop out of school and become a pop star. Then again, the whole keyblade thing has been fairly lucrative. Donald insists on bookkeeping and ten thousand munny in a week of searching for his friends isn’t bad. Even if he ends up spending quite a bit on potions and staffs and shields and accessories. (It’s not his fault the rings are so pretty!) Maybe he can get people to hire him on a contract basis or something.

Right, that’s all for later. Focus, Sora.

“Okay, so I kind of Did a Thing. Don’t worry about it. But before I temporarily fade from existence, anyone else want to admit they have a crush on me?”

Riku’s hand shoots up immediately which. Is somehow less surprising than Kairi, actually. Riku did become his Dream Eater after all. You don’t give up your humanity for just anyone. Or, you know, so Sora assumes. He doesn't really have any exper- Actually, there was that one time he was a Heartless but that was really more for the sake of the universe in general? Or something like that. It was very spur of the moment. He wasn't really thinking about that either. Not that he didn't care about Kairi but- Listen. Fourteen years olds are stupid.

Ven's hand follows almost immediately, the same instant as Naminé's. Uh . . . sure? He's not really sure what residing in another person's heart entails like. Emotionally. That, he can definitively say he doesn't have experience with. Maybe while Ven was asleep their hearts had good vibes together or something? Maybe he was a little bit more conscious than anyone gave him credit for? He'll have to ask about that later. It's not like Sora minds though. Sure, he doesn't actually feel like he knows Ven, but he seems nice and he's cute and getting to know him would be cool. 

As for Naminé, apparently she told Riku about what went down in Castle Oblivion and Riku tried to relay this to Sora but Riku's never been the best storyteller and it all seems kind of confusing before that factor anyway so- What he has been able to pick up on, is that she's been very helpful and he feels pretty sucky about not being able to properly acknowledge that. She saved him, even if she did apparently mess with his memories first? And apparently she saved Riku and Kairi, his two best friends in the history of best friendship. Who both have a crush on him. Which might be mutual. But this really isn't the time for that line of thought. Anyway, he remembers Roxas recognizing her and Roxas seemed pretty jazzed about her existence too. So, yeah, Naminé's pretty cool in his book. He'll have to sit down and get to know her later. And also find out what actually happened in Castle Oblivion. It sounds kind of important.

Roxas raises his hand too and you know, that actually kind of checks out. Sort of. There was that one time Roxas tried to . . . maybe kill him? Maybe not? In his heart? Maybe he should ask about that. Sora should really ask about a lot of things. Now he feels kind of stupid making his last question for a while about who has a crush on him. And like, there is the fact that Roxas is his Nobody, so he's not entirely sure if that's like . . . allowed? But then again, the whole Nobody thing is really just a technicality. Roxas is his own person. Duh. And if he happens to be a person who has a crush on Sora, so be it. Roxas is cool. Maybe Sora can get him to actually teach him how to skateboard instead of just mooching off his muscle memory. Heart memory. However that works.

Xion is indecisive at first. She raises her hand timidly and it shakes a bit and Sora honestly can’t tell if she’s waving at him or she’s trembling. He waves back just to be safe and she smiles and raises her hand more confidently. Okay then. He’s not really sure about her as a person but to be fair, it doesn’t seem like many people are. There’s definitely another story there about memory shenanigans or something. He really needs to sit down and hear those stories sometime. Or get Jiminy to give him some notes. Something. Still, Xion seems nice. She has this gentle air about her and Sora gets the sense that she did him a big favor at some point due to existence is complicated reasons. She also kicked Xemnas’s butt which makes her super cool.

Hayner and Pence are a lot more sure of themselves than Xion is. They exchange looks with each other and then Roxas and then all three boys collectively shrug while Olette shakes her head at them. They're nice though. They both have warm brown eyes and Hayner has a kind of strength that Sora doesn't and Pence is really smart. He'd like to hang out with them more, like to enjoy being kind of like a normal kid again despite the fact that he tossed normal out his bedroom window and crushed his mom's tomato plant with it a long time ago. (Just kidding. That was the poorly made wooden toy boat.) He kind of really admires both of them.

Sora isn't going to question when the Riku Replica (who really deserves a proper name) got here. He’s just going to be happy he’s okay. The Riku Replica (no, really, what’s this guy’s name?) is raising his hand, and Sora briefly wonders if those are his true feelings or something he got from Riku. I mean, didn’t he and Naminé have a thing? Then again, Naminé’s raising her hand too so . . . Sora also is definitely not going to question when Vanitas got here and why he's raising his hand too. He's gotta draw the line somewhere.

He doesn’t question the misty apparition standing near the waterfall who Sora vaguely recalls saving him either. (The apparition, of course, is also raising his hand.) He doesn't really mind though because if those soft silvery curls were actually corporeal, Sora would be all over them. After saying thank you for being saved. He's not really sure how that worked, it all feels very fuzzy, but seeing the apparition makes his chest feel warm which is good enough.

He counts . . . Kairi, one . . . Riku, two . . . Ven three, Naminé four, Roxas five, Xion six, Hayner and Pence seven and eight, the Riku Replica nine, Vanitas ten on his rapidly evaporating fingers. Oh, and the apparition. He’s not sure if ghosts really count but considering his current state he can’t really judge.

He's really going to have to deal with this when he gets back. What a headache. Now that people have stopped raising their hands, Lea's laughing at him while Isa is punching him in the shoulder. Repeatedly. Sora's pretty sure his cheeks are red, given the situation, but he can't actually feel the warmth of blushing. Actually, he can't really feel temperature at all right now.

"Okay," Sora says. "Well, that's cool. Your feelings are valid. I'll uh. See you guys later." 

And then Sora vanishes into thin air. And he's not scared at all about dying or whatever, because A. It's not like it's the first time and B. he has more pressing problems. Like figuring out what he's going to do about his love life. I mean, it's not like he can date ten (maybe eleven?) people.

Actually, why not? There's no law against it. He's pretty sure.

Okay, yeah, but now his most pressing problem is that monster staring at him he'll worry about this later.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. I have a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/CrepusculeChaos) if you want to go talk to me on there? I don't bite. Thank you for reading.


End file.
